Saturday, April 7, 2012

The Victorious Bull

Just like the water in the bay, the population of men sitting in the sauna at any one time ebbs and flows. To some extent, these variations are predictable. On this particular morning, however, several more men than usual were warming themselves after a morning swim and chatting away amiably. During a lull in the hubbub, Joe Mannion declared, "The best tapas I've ever eaten were in Spain." The air was instantly peppered with shouts of, "The best sushi I ever had was in Japan!" "The best kimchi I ever had was in Korea!" The best borscht I ever had was in the Ukraine!"

Eventually, we exhausted our knowledge of local dishes and their origins. Joe patiently waited for the laughter and jibes to subside, leaned forward in his engaging way, and said, "Well, what I should have said is that I had a tapas dish in Spain that I don't think you can get anywhere else." Having skillfully regained the attention of the sauna inhabitants, he continued. "I was in Madrid and asked the waiter for something special and he said, 'Si señor, something special for you.' When the waiter came back, he put a plate down and said, 'This is huevos del toro.' I knew just enough Spanish to know that he had said these were 'eggs of the bull' so I told him they seemed very small for bull eggs. They were no bigger than golf balls. The waiter smiled and said, 'Aveces, señor, el toro gana,' and walked away."

A chuckle burbled among a couple of men as their various competencies in Spanish kicked in. Fortunately, Ivan Balarin, a native of Peru was there to translate, "Sometimes, the bull wins."

We erupted in guffaws laced with winces. Ivan began waving his arms in a "slow down" motion and said, "No, no, no. I have to tell you. I was participating in a skydiving tournament in Spain and I saw the bull win." By now, we were on edge for another punch line but Ivan was adamant, "No, no. I tell you. I don't like bullfights, but my friend said we have to go. And the bull, first thing, it knocks down three picadore horses. Bang! Bang! Bang! Knocks them right to the ground, man! You never seen anything like it! Then the bull jumps into the stands and starts to charge around. People were running like crazy, man. And there was a cameraman in the stands and he's looking through his video camera and he's looking all over trying the find the bull and the bull comes up behind him where he can't see him and BOOM! The bull knocks the cameraman right into the arena and jumps in after him. Boy! that cameraman really ran for his life. So then, the matador comes in and the bull just charges him and stabs him with his horns. Just KILLS that matador, man! Oh, my gosh. That day the bull won, man!"

Of course, we had to know. Did they let the bull live? Ivan said, "Yes. I think so. Yes. I'm sure they did."

Aveces el toro gana, I guess.

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